


The One Where Mistletoe is a Bitch

by Mercia



Category: Marvel, Venom (Comics), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Gift Exchange, Gift Fic, Mistletoe, POV Eddie Brock, POV Third Person, Possessive Venom Symbiote (Marvel), Ravenclaw!Eddie Brock, Referenced cannibalism, Venom is hungry yall, cos why not, sfw, symbrock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 14:07:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17163368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercia/pseuds/Mercia
Summary: A Hogwarts AU Where tired teen!Eddie Brock is a student at Hogwarts and is massively inconvenienced by mistletoe.





	The One Where Mistletoe is a Bitch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [basketcasewrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/basketcasewrites/gifts).



> Gift fic for the discord server exchange https://discord.gg/TZqPhWP. 
> 
> I was supposed to finish this before Christmas but instead I / started/this fucking thing on Christmas day and now its 1h 29 mins past that so fuck it. 
> 
> Hope you /had/ a good Christmas. Woop woop boxing day sales I guess

 The best thing about Christmas was that almost everyone left for the holidays, Eddie had almost the whole castle to himself save a few others. And also, somehow, the food got even better (which, if nothing else, Venom appreciated.)  
  
The worst thing about Christmas was, absolutely, one hundred percent, indisputably the mistletoe. All that flipping mistletoe which whatever demonic-ass house-elves deemed it appropriate to litter everywhere in the castle. You couldn't go anywhere without getting caught in those actually-five-times-worse-than-a-devil's-snare traps. He was sure back home in his perfectly normal muggle world, this sort of thing (if it existed) wouldn't be allowed. Getting children to kiss for entertainment? In a school? Well, it depended on which county you were from, he guessed.  
  
Anyway, point was, mistletoe fucking sucked.  
  
Which was why, this year, Eddie was proud to have not fallen into its clutched once. Quite an achievement, of he did say so himself. They were four days into the holiday.  
  
**This is stupid.**  
  
Eddie suppressed a sigh. They'd literally just been over this.  
  
**We're so hungry. Why are we going this stupid long route? Why can't we go straight there and eat. Need food, Eddie.**  
  
"Yeah, we'll get food once we get there okay. It's just a few minutes longer," Eddie grumbled, trying to ignore the odd looks he received from the portraits. Ah well, they should have been used to it by now. Besides, it was a school of magic. There were odder things **.** **  
** **  
** **Stupid** .  
  
"Just be patient Vee."  
  
See, the reason why Eddie had achieved such a remarkable feat as to outwit the house elves in their own mistletoe-filled games, was because each morning (and lunch and dinner) Eddie inconvenienced himself terribly to avoid them, mentally mapping out the safe paths to traverse. Not even for his sake, too. Oh no, it was a totally, utterly selfless act.  
  
Well. Mostly.  
  
Because Eddie-plus-mistletoe-plus-the unlucky bastard to cross their path would, Eddie knew, result in some combination of brushing his teeth for at least three hours, expulsion, cannibalism, and said unlucky person's face bitten off. Most likely it would be the list in its entirety and then some.  
  
To say the least, Venom was kind of a possessive symbiote.  
  
**Yes. Eddie is ours** , said Venom vehemently.  
  
"’Course, Vee," Eddie echoed. "Yours."

 

Venom purred, just a little, and Eddie had to stifle the smile threatening his lips.

 

The walk from Ravenclaw tower to the Great Hall was a bit of a trek, any way you went about it. Really, Hufflepuffs had all the luck. They only had one flight of moving stairs to cross and a few winding corridors— though, he'd heard that the house elves had taken to putting mistletoe about the entrance. Well, you win some, you lose some, as the saying said.

 

God, Hogwarts was kind of a bitch, huh? Probably because the founders had named her _Hogwarts_. Magic was strange.

 

Anyway, Ravenclaw Tower was on the other side of the school. If nothing else, it burned off the calories they would gain at breakfast (not that Venom and he as a pair needed any help there) — that was if there was any breakfast left for them to burn, however.

 

**If there's no breakfast left I'm eating at least ten of your classmates.**

 

“Vee…No,” said Eddie. Again. Honestly why did he bother trying anymore?

 

Oh yeah, because he didn't want the people he knew to be eaten alive, because he was a somewhat decent person. Really, the world didn't deserve them.

 

**They don't. Our Eddie is the best.**

 

“Aw, shucks Vee. Thanks.”

 

**Love you.**

 

Eddie gulped and looked around them. “Love you too,” he said.  
  
A feeling of contentment flushed through them and Eddie couldn't tell if it was coming from him or Venom. Probably both. Probably, there was no difference. They'd said it once, months back when they'd first “joined” (for lack of a better term), _We are Venom,_ and everything had seemed to fall into place, it had felt right and Eddie was happy. _They_ were happy.

 

It was weird, no doubt about it, being in a relationship with an alien symbiote which, by most accounts, was essentially a pile of sentient goo, but also a cannibalistic, dangerous, baddass, cute, charming pile of goo. Or, at least cute and charming to him. He was sure the late Professor Quirrel would have used other words to describe him, had he still been alive.

 

But it was fun, with Venom. Sure he'd had to pretty much give up the idea of privacy (which would be a big deal to anyone, let alone a teenage boy), and sometimes it was hard to stay focused in class or when he was doing his homework, or he was just _constantly_ hungry. But Eddie never got lonely, there was always someone who would just understand, and know what he needed, who would always have his back.

 

The two of them were just great together. Eddie knew that, Venom knew that, and Venom knew Eddie knew that. That was the beauty of it.

 

Explaining Christmas to Venom had been both amusing and an eye opener as to how different Klyntar had been to Earth. Klyntar which had days and years at least, but save for invading other planets, had no need for events of any sort and certainly no celebrations. It sort of made Eddie sad but then, it was just another way of life, he guessed, and it would be fun to show someone the metaphorical ropes of Christmas for the first time. And, having been ostracized basically his entire life for not being born into the symbiote-hive, Venom deserved to know at least this much happiness, the magic of Christmas. Even if he did eat people, once in a while.

 

Besides, Quirrel had been creepy as fuck, anyway. And he had to go somehow, with that curse on the DADA position and all.

 

It was just as he was thinking this that Eddie, normally a paranoid sonuvabitch at the best of times, realised he could no longer move his legs. His heels were stuck fast so the ground and he could not take one single step.

 

They looked up.

 

“Fuck,” said Eddie.

 

 **Hungry,** said Venom.

 

There it was, above them. Dangling with deceptive innocence but in actuality pure evilness. The mistletoe.

 

The damned mistletoe.

 

They were either going to miss breakfast or someone was gonna walk by eventually. Either way, someone was about to be eaten.

 

In his defence, it hasn't been there yesterday. And they were so close as well. Another corridor and a left turn and they would have made it! Safe! Instead the streak was broken.

 

It was particularly terrible because he didn't hate ten people enough for them to be eaten by him, nor was he quite sure he disliked himself enough to kiss someone might have been willing to eat.

 

Yeah, life was wild.

 

“Well,” said Eddie, for once to just himself instead of the both of them, and trailed off. What was he supposed to do, anyway?

 

**We have stopped, Eddie. Eddie why have we stopped?**

 

“Uh,” said Eddie, looking around again. Nobody was there, of course. Probably all at breakfast or trapped in another of these stupid things. “I accidently stepped under the mistletoe. Sorry.”

 

**We don't understand. What's wrong with the mistletoe?**

 

Eddie rubbed the heel of his palm into his eye. Why could Hogwarts just try to be more convenient? He held his breath, waiting for the reaction which was sure to come.

 

“Mistletoe means we're stuck here by magic unless someone kisses me.”

 

 **Oh!** said Venom, and he could hear the exclamation mark. **Then that is easy.**

 

Eddie frowned. “What do you mean?” it wasn't the sort of answer he had been expecting, but definitely a relief.

 

Venom didn't respond, however. Instead, he felt the tell-tale signs of something tugging with him, gathering and pooling at his shoulder blade, which meant Venom had decided to make himself seen. Venom's head drifted over his shoulder to grin at him, drips of smoky black trailing behind them. They grinned.

 

Eddie checked the corridor once more; they were alone. There weren't even any portraits to be careful of here.

 

 **Just kiss me,** said Venom, still grinning at him. **Easy.**

 

 _“W_ ait what?” said Eddie dumbly, because despite all the fact that Venom was literally a part of him, physically and mentally, and all the times they would repeat _love you_ to each other, they had never actually kissed. He'd be lying if he said he didn't think it should bother him a _bit._ Venom had all those teeth and that fucking tongue, so besides, how would it even work? He'd thought about it, of course. Thought about it a _lot._ Which meant Venom knew how much he’d thought about it too.

 

 **Kiss me and then we can go to breakfast,** said Venom again. **Hurry up, we're hungry.**

 

“I…” said Eddie, not quite processing what was happening.

 

**Love you, Eddie.**

 

“Yeah,” echoed Eddie.”I love you too, Vee.”

 

**Kiss?**

 

Venom’s face made its way closer and Eddie caught himself staring down at their mouth. Swallowed.

 

 _Fuck it,_ thought Eddie. _We're hungry._

 

Safe to say, for the relief of all Hogwarts, Eddie made it in time for breakfast, nobody died, Eddie didn't have to be expelled after all and his toothbrush would last a little longer.

 

Mistletoe was still a bitch, though. Just less so. It definitely wasn't the worst thing about Christmas anymore.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Eddie is in Ravenclaw fight me byeeee


End file.
